God is Love

What is your definition of love? How does our culture define love? Just turn on the TV, listen to the hit radio station, or look at what’s on the magazine covers and billboard and you’ll get a clear picture of what love is in America. We as a culture are in love with money, fame, fashion, rebellion, fun, independence, exterior beauty, and the illusion of happiness or having it all together. We use the word so carelessly that it can now be attached to almost anything… “I love your shoes!” “I love your hair!” “I love the St. Louis Cardinals!” “I love all of my Facebook friends!” The word “love” has become hugely commonplace and almost insignificant. Even saying, “I love you” doesn’t always seem to hold much value. America’s 50% divorce rate reflects that. Our culture has twisted the meaning of love. Everyone has an inherent longing for love but our culture doesn’t know what true love is or where it comes from. Where is the devotion, the loyalty, and promise behind the word “love”?

What is true love and how do we show it not only in a marriage but also in every relationship? Throughout the week we answered this question and gained a lot of knowledge about personality traits, emotional intelligence, and what a healthy relationship looks like.

One of my favorite things we did this week was complete a spiritual gifts profile and Uniquely You Questionnaire that helped us discover why we act the way we do. It’s crazy how accurate the results came out to be and it was fun to learn the personality type of other people in the class. The way we act, think, and feel, and what motivates us are all so important to understand especially as it relates to the way we interact with other people of similar or different personality types. My personality type is passive and task-oriented, which is described as competent, compliant, cautious, and calculating. I was sitting next to my roommate whose personality is active and people-oriented, which is described as inspiring, influencing, impressing, and inducing. We were laughing because we are two extremely opposite personalities. It’s important to know the predictable pattern of people close to you because without that knowledge there is room for a lot of conflict. When you have an idea of why people act the way they do, you are then able to avoid conflict, more easily resolve conflict, and also better appreciate the person for who God made them to be.

The way we treat, interact, and communicate with people is a direct commentary on how we relate with God. If we are not right with God we will not be able to fully experience love in our other relationships. If we understand God’s love toward us we will better be able to show love to the people in our life because God is our example of love. Every day we are being transformed more and more into the likeness of God, and every day we must humble ourselves before the Almighty God who has shown us indescribable grace and love. James 4:6“But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, ‘God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” In the same way we should also humble ourselves before our peers and serve out of love. A good question asked was “Are you serving today out of an effort for love or are you serving out of an effort of love?

As we began to talk about marriage we learned more about how marriage is a picture of Christ’s love for the church. Ephesians 5:22-30 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.”

In the same way that God has made a covenant with the church, so marriage is a covenant between a man and woman. A covenant is never to be broken except by death. A few weeks back while studying the life of Abraham and the covenant promise between him and God I learned that “Beriyth” is the Hebrew word for covenant; it is a solemn binding agreement made by passing through pieces of flesh. Genesis 2:21-24 describes the covenant of marriage: “So the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’’ For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Marriage is a commitment that requires responsibility.

Not everyone is called to marriage. Paul talks about how it is good not to marry so you can focus completely on your ministry. When you marry you are divided between your spouse and your work for God. One of the women who spoke to us this week talked about how ministry driven she was and how she thought she would be like Paul and for that reason not marry. But what’s great about marriage is that it is a process of sanctification that will result in better ministry for the glorification of God. Marriage is two people sharpening and pushing each other to be better workmen of the Lord!

I can’t say that at the end of the week I was any more or less excited about marriage, but I did come away with a better understanding of what God created marriage to be.  The biggest thing I took away from the week is that we should marry someone of proven character not potential. Sacrificial love does not start when the ring goes on the finger. I want to prove myself to be a woman of God before marriage. I can aim to be what Proverbs 31 describes starting today.

I can aim to be completely trustworthy.

I can aim to work hard in delight.

I can aim to walk with strength and dignity.

I can aim to gladly give to the needy.

I can aim to always speak in wisdom.

But above all these I need to daily come before God in fear and reverence. 

I can strive for these things in order to be a good wife but ultimately I should strive for these things in order to be a good follower of God who is the ultimate groom and the ultimate example of love. He is love and nobody’s love will ever compare to His.

So what is the definition of love?

1 John 4:8 “Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love.” 

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…As a little side note, Lauryn Hill is one of my favorite artists, she is a musical genius and her songs inspire me every time I listen to them. In fitting with this weeks topic of marriage, I thought I’d post her song Tell Him which is clearly completely influenced by 1 Corinthians 13.

Here are the lyrics-

Let me be patient let me be kind

Make me Unselfish without being blind

Though I may suffer I’ll envy it not

And endure what comes

Cause he’s all that I got and

Tell him…

Tell him I need him

Tell him I love him

And it’ll be alright

Tell him I need him

Tell him I love him

And it’ll be alright

Now I may have faith to make mountains fall

But if I lack love then I am nothin’ at all

I can give always everything I possess

But am without love then I have no happiness

I know I’m imperfect

And not without sin

But now that I’m older all childish things end

And tell him…

(Chorus)

I’ll never be jealous

And I won’t be too proud

Cause love is not boastful

Oooh and love is not loud

Tell him I need him

Tell him I love him

Everything’s gonna be alright

Now I may have wisdom and knowledge on Earth

But if I speak wrong then what is it worth?

See what we now know is nothing compared

To the love that was shown when our lives were spared

And tell him…